Funny Children Jokes


As times go by humor changes but Funny Children Jokes have a similar essence the whole world over - something to make you giggle! These are free for your non commercial use.


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Funny Children Jokes

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All the world over
Children love a smelly pump;
Many of them call it
"I've just done a trump"

Giggling and holding noses
Is what they seem to do;
I think I'd hold my breath
So what about you?

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Father: What did the teacher think of your idea?
Son: She took it like a lamb
Teacher: Really?, what did she say?
Son: Baa!

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Little Naomi said to her mum, “Mum, what’s got four legs and one foot?”
”I don’t know,” said her mum.
“A bed"
David Minkoff

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Teacher: I said to draw a cow eating some grass but you've only drawn the cow?
Pupil: Yes, the cow ate all the grass!

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One breakfast time, little Rebecca says to her mum, “What two things can't you have for breakfast, mum?”
“I don’t know?”
“Lunch and dinner, of course.”
David Minkoff

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Teacher: Ramu, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
Ramu: Me!

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Funny Children Jokes

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The three bears had been having some trouble recently and had ended up in family court. Mama and Papa bear were splitting up, and baby bear had to decide who he was going to live with.

So, the judge wanted to talk to baby bear to see what he thought about living with either of his parents. When he asked baby bear about living with his father, baby bear said "No, I can't live with Papa bear, he beats me terribly."

"OK," said the judge, "then you want to live with your mother, right?"
"No way!" replied baby bear, "She beats me worse than Papa bear does."

The judge was a bit confused by this, and didn't quite know what to do. "Well, you have to live with someone, so is there any relatives you would like to stay with?" asked the judge.

"Yes," answered baby bear, "my aunt Bertha bear who lives in Chicago."
"You're sure she will treat you well and won't beat you?" asked the judge.
"Oh definitely," said baby bear, "the Chicago Bears don't beat anybody."

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At the Henry Street Hebrew School, Mr. Goldblatt, the new teacher, finished the day's lesson.
It was now time for the usual question period.

"Mr. Goldblatt," announced little Joey, "there's somethin' I can't figger out."
"What's that Joey?" asked Goldblatt.

"Well accordin' to the Bible, the Children of Israel crossed the Red Sea, right?"
"Right."

"An' the Children of Israel beat up the Philistines, right?"
"Er--right."

"An' the Children of Israel built the Temple, right?"
"Again you're right."

"An' the Children of Israel fought the 'gyptians, an' the Children of Israel fought the Romans, an' the Children of Israel wuz always doin' somethin' important, right?"
"All that is right, too," agreed Goldblatt, "So, what's your question?"

"What I wanna know is this," demanded Joey. "What wuz all the grown-ups doin'?"

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My daughter-in-law Alma and grandson Eddy were digging for fishing bait in my garden. Uncovering a many-legged creature, Eddy proudly dangled it before his mother.
“No, honey, he won’t do for bait,” his mother said. “He’s not an earthworm.”

“He’s not?” Eddy asked, his eyes wide. “What planet is he from?”

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Funny Children Jokes