Funny Poems


Hop on and enjoy the ride of Funny Poems as laughter is the best medicine and makes the world go round!

These are free for your non commercial use.


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Funny Poems

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A Bridge to the Moon

I just finished building
a bridge to the moon.
I started last August
and ended this June.
I used giant branches,
a few million rocks,
unbreakable cables,
and billions of blocks.

The walls on my bridge
are a marvelous sight.
They’re safe and secure
and they light up at night.
The nails are nailed in
and the screws are screwed tight,
but something is wrong here!
This cannot be right!

The moon isn’t orange!
It isn’t that bright!
The moon doesn’t give off
this powerful light!
I have to keep building!
This bridge isn’t done!
For I have just noticed
it leads to the sun.
Darren Sardelli

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The computer swallowed grandma,
Yes, honestly it's true.
She pressed "control" and "enter"
And disappeared from view.
It devoured her completely,
The thought just makes me squirm.
She must have caught a virus
Or been eaten by a worm.
I've searched through the recycle bin
and files of every kind:
I've even used the Internet,
but nothing did I find.
In desperation, I asked Jeeves
My searches to refine.
The reply from him was negative,
Not a thing was found "online".
So, if inside your "Inbox",
My Grandma you should see,
Please "Copy", "Scan" and "Paste" her
And send her back to me!

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As seen on a church bulletin

The sermon this morning: 'Jesus Walks on the Water.'
The sermon tonight: 'Searching for Jesus.'

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Irving Benson and Jessie Carter were married on October 24 in the church.
So ends a friendship that began in their school days.

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Funny Poems

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It was a Cough
That carried him Off
It was a Coffin
They Carried him Off In

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Goldilocks, it's known, had lots of guys
And Pinnochio's one, I do surmise
She'd sit on his face
Stick his nose in that place
Then make the poor puppet tell lies! 

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My clumsy heart has two left feet
It always trips when I see you
It starts to race and skip a beat.
My clumsy heart has two left feet
It's starting now to feel the heat
Because of all the things you do
My clumsy heart has two left feet
It always trips when I see you
Gem

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Men are just like chocolates
Us girls know that is true
Found in bars they don't last long
Enough to satisfy you
And on that thought
Happy Birthday

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Jabberwocky Poem 

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.

"Beware the Jabberwock, my son!
The jaws that bite, the claws that catch!
Beware the Jubjub bird, and shun
The frumious Bandersnatch!"

He took his vorpal sword in hand:
Long time the manxome foe he sought --
So rested he by the Tumtum tree.
And stood awhile in thought.

And as in uffish thought he stood,
The Jabberwock, with eyes of flame,
Came wiffling through the tulgey wood,
And burbled as it came!

One, two! One, two! And through and through
The vorpal blade went snicker-snack!
He left it dead, and with its head
He went galumphing back.

"And hast thou slain the Jabberwock?
Come to my arms, my beamish boy!
frabjous day! Callooh! Callay!"
He chortled in his joy.

'Twas brillig, and the slithy toves
Did gyre and gimble in the wabe;
All mimsy were the borogoves,
And the mome raths outgrabe.
Lewis Carroll


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